Your guide to surviving bikini season:
As we weave our way into the hot dog days of summer, advertisers are heating our TV screens. Everywhere you look, photos of bikini-clad models, perfect beaches, and skimpy clothes worn during the summer holidays. Most women will do almost anything for a beautiful figure. Over the past few summers, I would get my bikini-ready by changing my diet to live almost entirely on fruits and vegetables for a few weeks. And it worked! I would take a few inches off my frame, and my “perfect” figure would last a few weeks until I showed up at the beach. Unlike some other women’s diets, I’ve discovered…
Enter the Tapeworm Diet.
I found myself reading about past and present diets throughout history and stumbled upon the tapeworm diet that became popular in the early 20th century. During that time, tapeworms were prescribed in pill form for a woman to take, and she could expect to lose 1 to 2 pounds per week. This diet was appealing because the tapeworm, a parasitic, would feed on the food the host ingests, preventing it from being digested by the host’s body, resulting in weight loss. However, the problem with this is that the tapeworm interferes with the body’s proper absorption of nutrients and vitamins and can lead to cysts in the liver, brain, eyes, and spinal cord, with serious consequences.
How do you get rid of a tapeworm?
When the desired weight loss was achieved, and the tapeworm was no longer wanted, an antibiotic was given that would kill the tapeworm so that it could be expelled. However, if the antibiotic didn’t work, I found another way to rid your body of the pesky tapeworm (which made me giggle out loud) found on Snopes.com:
Place milk, biscuits, and a hammer near the affected person’s anus for a few nights and let the tapeworm suck itself up on the treats. Once this is achieved, the cookie will be retained. When the worm comes all the way out to ask, “Where’s my cookie?” whoever is stuck on the worm watch duty that night beats him with the hammer.
Hmmm… I think I’ll stick to my fruits and vegetables. Aside from tapeworms, there are plenty of ways to get a bikini-ready in a short amount of time. Here’s my list:
1) Go to the gym! And not one of the giants, cookie-cutter gyms with a location in every city. I’m talking about a smaller, cozy gym where you feel comfortable. One may only have 100 members, so they know you by name when you walk in. They may only offer a few different training classes, but the teachers are excellent, and the types are great. You stay motivated and make friends quickly because everyone is there to exercise and lead a healthy lifestyle, not text and try to set up a date as some bigger gyms do.
2) Engage the services of a personal trainer. This is a more expensive option, but you will have someone completely focused on you and your success in looking your best and living your healthiest lifestyle. Not only do you have a responsibility and get intense one-on-one attention from your trainer, but because of your greater monetary investment, you are much more likely to remain committed and see results very quickly.
3) Food exchange.Trade-in your pint of Haagen Dazs—and its 70 grams of fat—for a trip to Yogurtland and their incredible fat-free creations of frozen yogurt and dozens of toppings. Swap your chips for whole-wheat pretzels or multigrain pitas and hummus. Swap your Butterfinger candy bar for a bowl of diced strawberries, cantaloupe, bananas, and blackberries topped with whipped cream.
There are dozens of ways to get in shape fast, and I guarantee that if you try just one of the suggestions listed here (minus the tapeworm diet, of course), you’ll be bikini-ready in no time.
Katrina Kritz is the creator of Katixon, a skincare company that many women turn to as an alternative to cosmetic surgery. Award-winning anti-aging skincare ingredients give you award-winning, beautiful skin.